This Christian Women’s Fiction Novel Will Grip Your Heart!

 A long time ago, I suffered from an eating disorder.

Much closer to the present, I suffered from guilt and fear over whether I was “in God’s will” for my life.

My latest book in the “Pine Mountain Estates” series addresses both issues.

George and Rosa are back!

If you’ve read my “Texas Hearts” series, you’ll remember George Marima and Rosa Manriquez. The former was from Zimbabwe, and the owner of the M&M Motel in Fort Worth, Texas. The latter was a former strip club dancer who was freed from her life when…

Nope, sorry. That’ll spoil it for anyone who hasn’t read the story yet. 😉

Anyway. Guns and Rosa is the romance story between forty-year-old George and thirty-five-year-old Rosa.

They make a comeback in my latest “Pine Mountain Estates” story, Rediscovering the Mountaintop, which occurs over twenty years later.

The gist of things.

A couple of recent events have Rosa wondering if a couple of major decisions she made long ago didn’t send both her and George down the wrong path. Afraid she’s been out of God’s will for years, she flees her home and goes to Pine Mountain. There she intends to take a retreat at Peter and Liz Tanner’s (Grace on the Mountain) rental cabin to figure things out.

Then Dalia shows up at her front door, bearing a welcome basket that Allie Whitlock, who lives down the mountain, is too ill to deliver herself.

Severely underweight, she’s been insisting to everyone she knows that she has her health under control. She has an equally compelling reason for her self-abuse as Rosa does for leaving her husband in the lurch to struggle alone with a slowly failing business.

Only, in Dalia’s case, she’s doing what she can to stop herself from making the wrong decision in the first place.

The conflict.

Both women want to be left alone. Both women are sure they can figure things out for themselves.

Not only are they wrong, but it seems an invisible hand keeps guiding them to cross each other’s path. And it’s a good thing, because…

…one of them is playing with death and doesn’t know it.

Rediscovering the Mountaintop will be available for purchase on June 14, 2023, but you can click here to preorder the novel.

Is It Menopause, Or Is It The Weather?

There’s a lot of to-do around menopause these days, with more women than ever before suffering from hormone imbalance-related symptoms starting as early as their late thirties. and continuing into their mid to late fifties. There’s so much noise around it, that for the past decade I’ve been convinced that all of my mental and physical problems have been stemming from my body not producing enough estrogen and progesterone.

Now, I’m not here to negate the possibility that some of my symptoms have resulted from hormone deficiencies, nor am I here to belittle any problem any of my peri- or post-menopausal readers might be suffering from.

But I recently discovered something about myself that I wanted to share, because I believe the truth of it will help some other women who are in their forties and fifties.

My Big Discovery.

Before I get into That Big Discovery, I need to share a smaller, related discovery I made a couple of years ago. That discovery was that the sensitivities of Highly Sensitive People become more acute with age. In the recent past when I spoke on the topic, I mentioned that due to my extremely sensitive nervous system, changes in the weather affect me both physically and mentally.

That Big Discovery I recently made? The weather has been affecting me more than I realized. Here’s how I figured that out.

As I write these words, it’s the middle of March. From early February until now, the weather changes from day to day and from week to week have been even more extreme where I live than they usually at this time of year…which, by the way, has always been the most difficult part of the year for me to get through. It’s gone something like this: A week of winter weather, including highs in the thirties and sleet, ice, and snow falling from the sky. Then, within two weeks of that, a few days in a row of sunny days in the sixties or even high seventies. Not five days later, it’s in the forties and raining.

For an entire month, all I wanted to do was sleep for the rest of my life. I wished I didn’t have a husband and son to take care of, and I didn’t care if I ever wrote another blog post, crafted another novel, or produced another video.

My digestive system went whacko along with the weather, making it even more difficult to drag myself through each day.

And though I realized some of it, particularly the depression, had to do with the weather, I thought most of it had to do with my hormone levels having fallen to new depths.

My lightning bolt moment.

It was another dreary, cloudy day. Not cold, as the predicted high was to be in the near sixty, but humid, therefore chilly. I not only felt fatigued, but also had realized that I’d gradually been feeling more depressed over the past couple of days.

Then, I get into a conflict with my teenage son. We mostly get along, and knowing he’s also Highly Sensitive, I’m usually careful to speak to him calmly and respectfully. But on this particular day, I was on edge. As was my son, I could tell within a minute of his starting a conversation about his “need” for a waterproof case for the camera I’d given to him for Christmas.

Emotions began to escalate, and I lost all my patience. I snapped.

He got upset and stormed out of the house.

Then, the answer hit me like a lightning bolt: the atmospheric insanity was what had been sucking  all the energy out of my body.

To confirm it, I turned to my husband and asked if he was feeling the weather. Was he tired or headachy?

Maybe a little tired, he replied, and definitely depressed.

Well. I know this might shock some of my readers, but neither my husband nor my son is post-menopausal. Their emotional state had nothing to do with a lack of estrogen and progesterone.

What was going on with all three of us?

Our serotonin levels were down.

Serotonin does more than I realized!

Now, I’ve known for quite some time that lack of serotonin is what causes Seasonal Affective Disorder, anxiety, and depression. Something about sunshine encourages the production of our happy brain chemical, and when clouds cover the sun for a long period of time, it can lead to negative thoughts and emotions. I’ve noticed this happen in my husband and son, as well as in myself.

I’ve also suspected a connection between low air pressure and serotonin production.

But that day, more pieces of the puzzle fell into place. It can be the clearest day possible, but if the wind is from either the north or the east, it affects my mood. And not only my mood, but also my energy levels.

I realized that low levels of estrogen and progesterone weren’t causing my fatigue. it was, instead, low levels of serotonin.

A quick search the next day cemented my new knowledge, as I discovered that proper levels of serotonin are required for the adrenal glands to function well. Low serotonin therefore leads to low energy and sleep disorders.

The good news is, there are several natural ways to raise serotonin levels relatively quickly. That fateful day, I spent five minutes sniffing rosemary essential oil, and just like that, my energy went back up and my digestion began to improve.

I had suffered needlessly for several weeks.

The issue of serotonin for health is so important that I’ve decided to write a whole other post and make a whole other video about it. For now, I want to close by addressing my fellow late middle-aged women who have been suffering from what are typically considered symptoms of hormonal imbalance, even when they are endeavoring to live as healthy a lifestyle as they can. 

I want to encourage you to start paying attention to the weather, how you feel on cloudy days, when the wind is from the north or east, (or, I guess from the south if you live in the Southern Hemisphere), when a storm is brewing, when the humidity is high. You might just find a pattern. 

You might discover that many, if not most, of your problems have had nothing to do with your hormones, and everything to do with the weather.

Peace to you, and may blessings abound in every area of your life.

March 2023 Book of the Month: “Hatching The Nest Egg.”

A lot of young adults are hoping to achieve financial independence before they hit age fifty, some before they hit age forty. A lot of older adults wish they could quit their lifelong careers to do something different, or retire from the work force altogether, but are struggling with their finances. 

At the very least, many people in their fifties and sixties at this moment were hoping to retire within the last, or next, couple of years, but the recession has thrown a wrench into their plans.

Enter my book, Hatching the Nest Egg: Achieve Super-Early Retirement Without Side Gigs, Gambling, Or An Above-Average Income. In it, I talk about the two best ways to get out of debt, teach a financial management strategy that is superior to using a budget, and reveal the investment strategy that has kept my husband and I afloat since 2014 (my writing business currently doesn’t make nearly enough to pay the bills). 

Yes, we experienced a big dip in our assets like everyone else. Because, what else is going to happen when EVERY investment vehicle tanks at the same time? But we likely haven’t lost as much as many people. We are also now recovering (however slowly and gradually), and probably more quickly than a lot of people, thanks to this strategy.

And, if I do say so myself, it’s a better strategy than what Dave Ramsey recommends. 😉

Click here to check out the book. I keep the price low to make the decision to buy easy.

You're welcome. 😉

Unexpected Visitors

When you live in a rural area, you get all kinds of four-legged visitors during the night. Where we live, we have seen evidence of deer, coyotes, armadillos, rats, mice, possums, rabbits and raccoons on our property (and sometimes we see the actual animal during the day). We have smelled the evidence of skunks having been nearby (and are happy to say we’ve rarely seen one nearby during the day!).

We recently had a downfall of rain, and then sleet, the latter of which fell for several hours, two days in a row. One morning, after the sleet had melted off the path from our house to the garden, I was walking next to it to avoid slipping on the muddy quagmire when I spotted, in that very mud, a kind of track  that I hadn’t seen before.

It was too big to belong to either a possum or raccoon; besides, I know for certain that raccoons leave little claw prints along with their paws. And it was the wrong shape to belong to a coyote. That left two other possibilities, both of which were equally thrilling and chilling.

My worldly-wise teenage son immediately shot down one of my guesses. “Bears don’t have retractable claws,” he informed me.

So I had my husband look up an image of mountain lion tracks.

He did, and I had my answer.

A mountain lion had come at least within twenty feet of our house the night before, perhaps even passed by the front of it.

Welcome, or not?

People who live in rural areas and have outdoor pets don’t like either mountain lions or coyotes. I myself don’t like the idea of cats eating rats, or coyotes and mountain lions attacking the deer and rabbits. I look forward to the day when the wolf will live with the lamb, and the leopard will lie down with the goat [Isaiah 11:6].

And even if you don’t have pets (like our family), you’ve heard the horror stories of predatory wildlife attacking people. So to have discovered that one such animal came so close to our house was a bit disconcerting – even though I know that mountain lions, or panthers as they are also called, are among the shyest of the predatory animals in North America and do their best to stay out of sight of humans.

On the other hand, I’ve always liked cats, and appreciate their grace and quiet stealth. And the fact of the matter is, until Yeshua returns to create a perfect, non-violent world, mountain lions and coyotes do a good job in helping keep down the population of the herbivores. There’s nothing inherently scary or evil about predatory animals…as long as you respect them for what they are and behave wisely in relation to their proximity.

Unexpected visitors of the two-legged kind.

Just as there are animals we’re not sure about, so there are certain people in each of our lives about whom we can say the same. We welcome with open arms the overtly friendly ones, or the shy ones who, once we begin talking to them, turn out to be kind people with generous hearts. Those are, shall we say, the rabbits and deer of our lives. They are the ones who are easy to be around, the helpful strangers and the friends who let us cry on their shoulders when we’re going through a crisis.

But other types of people pass through our lives, as well. People who grate on our nerves, who challenge our every belief and opinion, or who seem aloof and distant, and therefore unapproachable. I’m not talking about those who deliberately hurt you, just the ones who seem to have been placed in our path just to make our road a little bumpier.

And we wish weren’t there. Wish we could avoid them.

But what if God sent those people in your way? What if without them, you could not grow into the person God wants you to become?

No one likes to be challenged. No one likes to have to step out of their comfort zone and approach someone who seems unapproachable. But what if, by accepting these challenges and choosing to take the risk of extending a hand of friendliness toward the aloof person, you find a new ally in life? Or, at least, you discover new strength and courage, and gain new wisdom, either about the world or about yourself?

The coyotes and mountain lions and – Lord help us, raccoons! – of our lives aren’t our favorite people to be around. We’re not sure we can trust them, not sure they won’t hurt us.

But they’re here for a reason.

You’re here for a reason. And have you ever thought that you might be somebody else’s coyote, mountain lion, or raccoon?

So, learn to expect the unexpected visitors of life, and to accept their presence. Because God is doing something to you and for you, through them, and God’s end is always, always, the best end that could ever be.

Peace to you, and may blessing abound in every area of your life.

Godly Meditation: How To Meditate As A Christian.

In a recent post about living in the moment, I promised to dive into the topic of Christian meditation, to explain how believers can tap into that powerful stress-busting tool in a way that not only glorifies our heavenly Father, but that will also bring us closer to Him.

First, there are a couple of issues I need to get out of the way.

Contemplative prayer vs. meditation.

If you’re familiar with contemplative prayer, you may be wondering if that might not be the same thing as Christian meditation. Though the two practices have similarities, there is one distinction between them that makes them two separate things. That is, in contemplative prayer, you purposely bring up thoughts and memories, namely, thoughts revolving around Scripture, and memories of your recent attitude and behavior.

In meditation, you attempt to keep all thoughts and memories away, save for the one word or thought you may need at the beginning to help keep your mind focused on the present moment.

Brain chemicals vs. the presence of God.

Another issue everyone else seems to ignore, but is truly critical to understand, is that just because you feel good, doesn’t mean that you’ve entered the presence of God. Or, as non-Christians might state it, entered into “Nirvana,” or, “connected with Spirit.”

I’m going to delve much deeper into this problem in a later post. For now, understand that meditation raises serotonin levels and can even cause a release of endorphins. Serotonin is the chemical which, when released in the brain, brings on the emotion of happiness. Endorphins are the chemicals that are released when you’re experiencing great fun, or laughing heartily. Most people mistake this release of “feel-good” chemicals as profound joy, taking it as proof that they’ve entered into God’s presence.

This is not true. As I pointed out toward the end of my article on living in the moment, when you are completely aware of your present state, you automatically step into God’s presence, whether you feel any emotion or not.

All right. Those two issues dealt with, here’s how meditation works for the believer.

Meditation for people of the Judeo-Christian faith.

I’m sure you can guess the first step: set apart five minutes when you can be alone, and find a quiet place to spend that five minutes. As the meditation process becomes easier, you can increase the time as you feel it is right to do so, but start out with just five minutes.

Most people will want to sit, but you can just as easily meditate while standing. I don’t recommend lying down, as you’re likely to go to sleep before you get very far into your meditation.

The next step is to choose, for lack of a better word, a mantra. As a person of faith, choose a word or phrase that will keep your mind focused on the Lord. Mostly, I use, “Thank You.” You might choose a short verse, or part of a verse, from the Bible that also serves as a short prayer. “Praise the Lord,” or, “Holy are You,” are a couple of examples.

Or you could use the Jesus Prayer, which originated from the Orthodox church. You may have heard it before; it goes like this: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” You would breath in as you think the first phrase, breathe out on the second, then in, then out as you think, “a sinner.”

Now, you’re ready to begin. The third step is to close your eyes…or not. I sometimes find that I have to fend off a lot more wayward thoughts when my eyes are closed than when they are open. I don’t know why; that’s just the way my brain works on occasion. The first few times you try meditating, spend a few minutes with your eyes open, then a few minutes with your eyes closed, and see which way is less distracting for you.

This fourth step will be helpful to most beginners. Once you get used to meditation and become less distracted, it won’t be necessary. That step is to focus on one of your hands or one of your feet for a couple of minutes. As you repeat the mantra silently inside your head, place all your attention on whichever hand or foot you have selected. Be aware of it. Is it warm or cool? How does it feel against the surface it’s resting on? This kind of awareness is the beginning of living in the moment. It also serves to keep all other thoughts at bay.

The fifth and final step is to sit – or stand – still, repeating the mantra in your head as you focus on what’s going on right now, around you. Hear the hum of the dishwasher or the ticking of the clock. Feel the beating of your heart inside your chest. Can you hear it pushing blood past your ears? What odors or aromas linger in the air? How does your body feel?

As you attempt to be aware of the present moment, thoughts and feelings will begin to rise up. A conversation you had with a co-worker. The next thing on your to-do list. Worry over an upcoming project or loved one. Did you remember to buy bread when you went grocery shopping? Where did you put your keys? If only you hadn’t dated so-and-so when you were in high school.

And now, the real work of meditation begins. As each thought comes, you simply observe it. While you observe it, imagine yourself stepping backwards away from it, and into the arms of your loving Creator, protecting arms that enfold you and act as a shield between you and the thought. As long as the thought hovers, continue to do this mental stepping back. Because you keep your mind closed against the thought, it will eventually fall away, enabling you to resume your focus on the moment. When the next thought floats by, repeat the process. Sometimes, and emotion will come along for the ride. Step back from the emotion in the same way you’ve been stepping back from the thoughts.

The end result of meditation.

If you consistently, preferably daily, spend time in meditation that centers on God, you will begin to experience several wonderful benefits.

**1. You’ll be less stressed and, if you suffer from anxiety or other emotion-based mental issues, experience a lessening of symptoms.

**2. Your relationship with God will deepen.

**3. You will find it increasingly easier to keep your mind in the present as you go about your day. Because of this…

**4. You will have better clarity of mind. And…

**5. You will be better tuned in to your intuition, which really is that still, small voice of God most believers fail to hear. In addition…

**6. Living more in the moment will make you a calmer, wiser, and gentler person, which will greatly improve your relationships.

*****

I hope this article has convinced you that meditation for people of faith is a wonderful practice to implement. Peace to you, and may blessing abound in every area of your life.

Are You A Drama Queen Or Drama King? YOU NEED TO READ THIS!

I’ve been a drama queen for as long as I can remember. And while I did participate in the drama club in high school as an actress, that’s not what I’m talking about.

You know what I mean. The strong emotional reactions some people have to situations that other people think is no big deal.

My first clues came as a child, watching certain things on television. The witch in The Wizard of Oz (the original one with Judy Garland) scared the you-know-what out of me. I felt sorry for Charlie Brown when his little Christmas tree wilted under the weight of a single ornament.

And, speaking of Charlie Brown…

I cried – yes, I did; I cried – when Snoopy ran away from home.

I don’t specifically remember any of my family members commenting about that strange fact, but I’m sure more than one (there were five others) was thinking something along the lines of, “What is wrong with her?!”

But wait! There's more!

I was extremely shy as a child, always afraid other children would reject me. One spring morning when I was in seventh grade, I woke up to find that a stray tom cat had killed the newest litter of kittens, one of whom I’d become dearly attached to. Almost without thinking, I built a thick concrete fortress around my heart so that I would never be hurt like that again. My relationships with friends thereafter became shallow. I couldn’t let any of them into my heart, because one day, they would hurt me. I was sure of it, and I didn’t want to feel that level of pain again as I had when I lost my best feline friend.

I hated men for nine years after the man I’d fallen in love with betrayed me. My teaching job exhausted me, primarily because I had to be around a lot of people all day long, secondarily because I could hardly stand the pressure of trying to cover all the curriculum I was supposed to cover within the span of a single school year.

It didn’t help that I seemed to pick up on my students’ bad moods, and I took personally all their behaviors that didn’t conform to the rules. I definitely had favorites, and others that I wished would drop off the face of the earth.

Worst of all was when I made some kind of mistake, whether on the job or in my personal life. It was often like the end of the world, even if it was something as small as misplacing a favorite pen or being late to send in some kind of documentation.

Now, understand, I wasn’t like this all the time, or every day. And the worst of it occurred during a particular time of the month. But, all in all, I seemed to overreact much more than anyone else I knew to the usual frustrations and pressures of life.

Another addition to the annals of, "Why couldn't I have found this out earlier?"

I’m going to fast forward through a bunch of years and a whole lot more incidences when I either exploded, or felt like exploding, or got depressed over situations that were out of my control.

I’m going to fast forward to just a few years ago when I came across a book entitled, Empath: A Psychologist's Guide to Developing and Embracing your Gift. Of course I knew what it meant to have empathy, but, an empath? Was that even a thing?

My reaction upon seeing the title was, “Am I an empath?” Because as soon as I saw the title, something had stirred deep within me. I downloaded it.

Inside was a series of thirty questions. If you could answer “yes” to “most” of them, the psychologist author said, then you were probably an empath.

I answered “yes” to twenty-two of them.

The author went on to talk about Highly Sensitive People, another new term for me. Some experts believe that all HSPs are also empaths; this particular author set forth a distinction between the two. But, he also said that if you’re an empath, you’re definitely an HSP as well.

I devoured the book like it was a feast and I hadn’t eaten in a week. The more I read, the more puzzle pieces fell into place.

Why I’d been so shy as a child.

Why I suffered from so many digestive discomforts.

Why I could sense negative and positive “vibes” coming from people. Or filling a room.

Why I jumped two feet in the air at the slightest unexpected noise.

Why I had so much trouble forgiving my own imperfections.

Why events that other people seemed to be able to get over quickly continued to bother me for a long time.

Why I couldn’t stand loud music or construction site noise.

Why stage spotlights were painful to my eyes.

Why flickering fluorescent lights made me half insane.

Why I could smell and hear things other people couldn’t.

Why I feel sorry for, and get angry at, fictional characters in books.

Why I can physically feel a drastic change in the weather, low air pressure, and the gravitational pull of the moon.

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re likely also a Highly Sensitive Person, maybe even an Empath. The difference is that in addition to having a more sensitive nervous system than usual, Empaths, if they don’t have the protection in place to prevent it, absorb the energy of other people around them. Some empaths can even pick up on the emotional energy that comes from animals!

And no, that’s not “New Age.” Science has proven that every living being, even plants, have energy fields around them, and that lower levels of that energy lead to negative thoughts and emotions.

It's not a bad thing!

But my point here isn’t to distinguish between Empaths and HSPs, or to try to convince anyone of science versus religious bias. My point is, if you’ve either called yourself, or been called – probably both – a drama queen or a drama king, if you’ve been frustrated and confused about why you seem to overreact both emotionally and physically to various stimulations, my point is to encourage you.

There is nothing wrong with you. In fact, you are part of around thirty percent of the human population. A minority, to be sure, but not a tiny minority.

Your sensitivity is important. A necessity. HSPs are the ones to initiate causes of justice. We are some of the most creative people on the planet. We have the best listening ears, because we can empathize with hurting people without even trying. We are the counselors, therapists, and healers of the world.

You’re not crazy. And there’s nothing wrong with you. You simply need to learn, as I have, to withdraw when necessary, to avoid triggers, and most and best of all, to harness everything good about your sensitive nature.

If what I’m saying strikes a chord, and you’ve never heard of Highly Sensitive People before, check out this article.

Peace to you, and may blessings abound in every area of your life.

Televangelists Are Beautiful…Here’s What I Mean.

One of the most commonly abused Bible verses of our times is found in Matthew 7:1-3, where our Savior commands us not to judge. Those who are practicing a particular kind of sin which the Bible overtly points out as sin use that verse to “prove” that Christians shouldn’t judge them. Others go to the other extreme and make it their duty – really, their right – to judge people, believers and unbelievers, who are doing and saying things they disagree with.

They miss the entire spirit of Yeshua’s words, which is that none of us are perfect, all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and unless and until we have realized, repented of, and gotten rid of every single sin out of our lives, we’re not to try, judge, and convict people. The sin, yes, but those of us who have fallen into this prideful trap don’t turn our wrath toward the devil, who is the author and finisher of temptation and deception. We turn it against the people.

Notice how I used the word “us.” That’s because I have been one of those people.

The dream that woke me up.

A few nights ago, from when I'm writing this post, I had a dream. In the dream, I was leading a group of people through a building, trying to get to a particular part, which should have been easy to get to. But suddenly, there were obstacles in our way. There were people we had to interrupt, detours we had to take.

One of the people in the little group was a man I’ve known about since my mid-twenties. I was actually part of the choir that ministered when he came to hold meetings in the city I was living at the current time. I’d never dreamed about him before, but for some reason, there he was.

As the group meandered along its way, the two of us began chatting. And, along the way, he smiled at and encouraged the rest of us as we wound our way through rooms and corridors.

When we finally got out of the maze, I turned to someone else in the group and said, “He’s a beautiful man." I was referring to his spirit, not his outward appearance.

The next instant, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart, saying, “I made him, therefore he is beautiful.”

Soon after, I woke up.

And repented.

Because during the past decade of my life, I have had nothing but negative things to say about this person, not to mention a host of other famous/notorious televangelists.

We are all equal at the foot of the cross.

Like never before, the phrase, “We are all equal at the foot of the cross” opened up to me. It exploded inside my heart.

The sins and failings of the man in question are not, and haven’t been, any worse than my sins and failings. Just because his are in public view doesn’t make him a worse person. Or me, because my sins are seen by only a few, any better.

Because of that, I have no right to judge or criticize him. What good does that do, anyway? He’ll never hear me.  And even if I tried to contact him, should he by some miracle read my message it would land on deaf ears unless God had prepared his heart to receive it.

Self-deception is the worst deception, and it’s one of the main reasons believers remain stuck in their sin without seeing it as sin.

But God doesn’t dislike us for it. He knows we are fallen beings. He love us despite of it, likes us despite of it. Because He made us.

And God doesn’t create anything halfway. He doesn’t imagine darkness and ugliness.

He creates beauty.

A note of caution…

Remember this the next time you see a Christian YouTuber judging a famous preacher. Remember that the next time you read a blog post condemning an entire Christian denomination because the article’s author disagrees with part of their theology.

Remember that in God’s sight, we are all beautiful. And if we think God is calling us to call out another person’s sin, we need to tread carefully and make sure we are, indeed, spotlighting the sin, and not the person.

Peace to you, and may blessing abound in every area of your life.