Godly Meditation: How To Meditate As A Christian.

In a recent post about living in the moment, I promised to dive into the topic of Christian meditation, to explain how believers can tap into that powerful stress-busting tool in a way that not only glorifies our heavenly Father, but that will also bring us closer to Him.

First, there are a couple of issues I need to get out of the way.

Contemplative prayer vs. meditation.

If you’re familiar with contemplative prayer, you may be wondering if that might not be the same thing as Christian meditation. Though the two practices have similarities, there is one distinction between them that makes them two separate things. That is, in contemplative prayer, you purposely bring up thoughts and memories, namely, thoughts revolving around Scripture, and memories of your recent attitude and behavior.

In meditation, you attempt to keep all thoughts and memories away, save for the one word or thought you may need at the beginning to help keep your mind focused on the present moment.

Brain chemicals vs. the presence of God.

Another issue everyone else seems to ignore, but is truly critical to understand, is that just because you feel good, doesn’t mean that you’ve entered the presence of God. Or, as non-Christians might state it, entered into “Nirvana,” or, “connected with Spirit.”

I’m going to delve much deeper into this problem in a later post. For now, understand that meditation raises serotonin levels and can even cause a release of endorphins. Serotonin is the chemical which, when released in the brain, brings on the emotion of happiness. Endorphins are the chemicals that are released when you’re experiencing great fun, or laughing heartily. Most people mistake this release of “feel-good” chemicals as profound joy, taking it as proof that they’ve entered into God’s presence.

This is not true. As I pointed out toward the end of my article on living in the moment, when you are completely aware of your present state, you automatically step into God’s presence, whether you feel any emotion or not.

All right. Those two issues dealt with, here’s how meditation works for the believer.

Meditation for people of the Judeo-Christian faith.

I’m sure you can guess the first step: set apart five minutes when you can be alone, and find a quiet place to spend that five minutes. As the meditation process becomes easier, you can increase the time as you feel it is right to do so, but start out with just five minutes.

Most people will want to sit, but you can just as easily meditate while standing. I don’t recommend lying down, as you’re likely to go to sleep before you get very far into your meditation.

The next step is to choose, for lack of a better word, a mantra. As a person of faith, choose a word or phrase that will keep your mind focused on the Lord. Mostly, I use, “Thank You.” You might choose a short verse, or part of a verse, from the Bible that also serves as a short prayer. “Praise the Lord,” or, “Holy are You,” are a couple of examples.

Or you could use the Jesus Prayer, which originated from the Orthodox church. You may have heard it before; it goes like this: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” You would breath in as you think the first phrase, breathe out on the second, then in, then out as you think, “a sinner.”

Now, you’re ready to begin. The third step is to close your eyes…or not. I sometimes find that I have to fend off a lot more wayward thoughts when my eyes are closed than when they are open. I don’t know why; that’s just the way my brain works on occasion. The first few times you try meditating, spend a few minutes with your eyes open, then a few minutes with your eyes closed, and see which way is less distracting for you.

This fourth step will be helpful to most beginners. Once you get used to meditation and become less distracted, it won’t be necessary. That step is to focus on one of your hands or one of your feet for a couple of minutes. As you repeat the mantra silently inside your head, place all your attention on whichever hand or foot you have selected. Be aware of it. Is it warm or cool? How does it feel against the surface it’s resting on? This kind of awareness is the beginning of living in the moment. It also serves to keep all other thoughts at bay.

The fifth and final step is to sit – or stand – still, repeating the mantra in your head as you focus on what’s going on right now, around you. Hear the hum of the dishwasher or the ticking of the clock. Feel the beating of your heart inside your chest. Can you hear it pushing blood past your ears? What odors or aromas linger in the air? How does your body feel?

As you attempt to be aware of the present moment, thoughts and feelings will begin to rise up. A conversation you had with a co-worker. The next thing on your to-do list. Worry over an upcoming project or loved one. Did you remember to buy bread when you went grocery shopping? Where did you put your keys? If only you hadn’t dated so-and-so when you were in high school.

And now, the real work of meditation begins. As each thought comes, you simply observe it. While you observe it, imagine yourself stepping backwards away from it, and into the arms of your loving Creator, protecting arms that enfold you and act as a shield between you and the thought. As long as the thought hovers, continue to do this mental stepping back. Because you keep your mind closed against the thought, it will eventually fall away, enabling you to resume your focus on the moment. When the next thought floats by, repeat the process. Sometimes, and emotion will come along for the ride. Step back from the emotion in the same way you’ve been stepping back from the thoughts.

The end result of meditation.

If you consistently, preferably daily, spend time in meditation that centers on God, you will begin to experience several wonderful benefits.

**1. You’ll be less stressed and, if you suffer from anxiety or other emotion-based mental issues, experience a lessening of symptoms.

**2. Your relationship with God will deepen.

**3. You will find it increasingly easier to keep your mind in the present as you go about your day. Because of this…

**4. You will have better clarity of mind. And…

**5. You will be better tuned in to your intuition, which really is that still, small voice of God most believers fail to hear. In addition…

**6. Living more in the moment will make you a calmer, wiser, and gentler person, which will greatly improve your relationships.

*****

I hope this article has convinced you that meditation for people of faith is a wonderful practice to implement. Peace to you, and may blessing abound in every area of your life.

Are You A Drama Queen Or Drama King? YOU NEED TO READ THIS!

I’ve been a drama queen for as long as I can remember. And while I did participate in the drama club in high school as an actress, that’s not what I’m talking about.

You know what I mean. The strong emotional reactions some people have to situations that other people think is no big deal.

My first clues came as a child, watching certain things on television. The witch in The Wizard of Oz (the original one with Judy Garland) scared the you-know-what out of me. I felt sorry for Charlie Brown when his little Christmas tree wilted under the weight of a single ornament.

And, speaking of Charlie Brown…

I cried – yes, I did; I cried – when Snoopy ran away from home.

I don’t specifically remember any of my family members commenting about that strange fact, but I’m sure more than one (there were five others) was thinking something along the lines of, “What is wrong with her?!”

But wait! There's more!

I was extremely shy as a child, always afraid other children would reject me. One spring morning when I was in seventh grade, I woke up to find that a stray tom cat had killed the newest litter of kittens, one of whom I’d become dearly attached to. Almost without thinking, I built a thick concrete fortress around my heart so that I would never be hurt like that again. My relationships with friends thereafter became shallow. I couldn’t let any of them into my heart, because one day, they would hurt me. I was sure of it, and I didn’t want to feel that level of pain again as I had when I lost my best feline friend.

I hated men for nine years after the man I’d fallen in love with betrayed me. My teaching job exhausted me, primarily because I had to be around a lot of people all day long, secondarily because I could hardly stand the pressure of trying to cover all the curriculum I was supposed to cover within the span of a single school year.

It didn’t help that I seemed to pick up on my students’ bad moods, and I took personally all their behaviors that didn’t conform to the rules. I definitely had favorites, and others that I wished would drop off the face of the earth.

Worst of all was when I made some kind of mistake, whether on the job or in my personal life. It was often like the end of the world, even if it was something as small as misplacing a favorite pen or being late to send in some kind of documentation.

Now, understand, I wasn’t like this all the time, or every day. And the worst of it occurred during a particular time of the month. But, all in all, I seemed to overreact much more than anyone else I knew to the usual frustrations and pressures of life.

Another addition to the annals of, "Why couldn't I have found this out earlier?"

I’m going to fast forward through a bunch of years and a whole lot more incidences when I either exploded, or felt like exploding, or got depressed over situations that were out of my control.

I’m going to fast forward to just a few years ago when I came across a book entitled, Empath: A Psychologist's Guide to Developing and Embracing your Gift. Of course I knew what it meant to have empathy, but, an empath? Was that even a thing?

My reaction upon seeing the title was, “Am I an empath?” Because as soon as I saw the title, something had stirred deep within me. I downloaded it.

Inside was a series of thirty questions. If you could answer “yes” to “most” of them, the psychologist author said, then you were probably an empath.

I answered “yes” to twenty-two of them.

The author went on to talk about Highly Sensitive People, another new term for me. Some experts believe that all HSPs are also empaths; this particular author set forth a distinction between the two. But, he also said that if you’re an empath, you’re definitely an HSP as well.

I devoured the book like it was a feast and I hadn’t eaten in a week. The more I read, the more puzzle pieces fell into place.

Why I’d been so shy as a child.

Why I suffered from so many digestive discomforts.

Why I could sense negative and positive “vibes” coming from people. Or filling a room.

Why I jumped two feet in the air at the slightest unexpected noise.

Why I had so much trouble forgiving my own imperfections.

Why events that other people seemed to be able to get over quickly continued to bother me for a long time.

Why I couldn’t stand loud music or construction site noise.

Why stage spotlights were painful to my eyes.

Why flickering fluorescent lights made me half insane.

Why I could smell and hear things other people couldn’t.

Why I feel sorry for, and get angry at, fictional characters in books.

Why I can physically feel a drastic change in the weather, low air pressure, and the gravitational pull of the moon.

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re likely also a Highly Sensitive Person, maybe even an Empath. The difference is that in addition to having a more sensitive nervous system than usual, Empaths, if they don’t have the protection in place to prevent it, absorb the energy of other people around them. Some empaths can even pick up on the emotional energy that comes from animals!

And no, that’s not “New Age.” Science has proven that every living being, even plants, have energy fields around them, and that lower levels of that energy lead to negative thoughts and emotions.

It's not a bad thing!

But my point here isn’t to distinguish between Empaths and HSPs, or to try to convince anyone of science versus religious bias. My point is, if you’ve either called yourself, or been called – probably both – a drama queen or a drama king, if you’ve been frustrated and confused about why you seem to overreact both emotionally and physically to various stimulations, my point is to encourage you.

There is nothing wrong with you. In fact, you are part of around thirty percent of the human population. A minority, to be sure, but not a tiny minority.

Your sensitivity is important. A necessity. HSPs are the ones to initiate causes of justice. We are some of the most creative people on the planet. We have the best listening ears, because we can empathize with hurting people without even trying. We are the counselors, therapists, and healers of the world.

You’re not crazy. And there’s nothing wrong with you. You simply need to learn, as I have, to withdraw when necessary, to avoid triggers, and most and best of all, to harness everything good about your sensitive nature.

If what I’m saying strikes a chord, and you’ve never heard of Highly Sensitive People before, check out this article.

Peace to you, and may blessings abound in every area of your life.

Televangelists Are Beautiful…Here’s What I Mean.

One of the most commonly abused Bible verses of our times is found in Matthew 7:1-3, where our Savior commands us not to judge. Those who are practicing a particular kind of sin which the Bible overtly points out as sin use that verse to “prove” that Christians shouldn’t judge them. Others go to the other extreme and make it their duty – really, their right – to judge people, believers and unbelievers, who are doing and saying things they disagree with.

They miss the entire spirit of Yeshua’s words, which is that none of us are perfect, all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and unless and until we have realized, repented of, and gotten rid of every single sin out of our lives, we’re not to try, judge, and convict people. The sin, yes, but those of us who have fallen into this prideful trap don’t turn our wrath toward the devil, who is the author and finisher of temptation and deception. We turn it against the people.

Notice how I used the word “us.” That’s because I have been one of those people.

The dream that woke me up.

A few nights ago, from when I'm writing this post, I had a dream. In the dream, I was leading a group of people through a building, trying to get to a particular part, which should have been easy to get to. But suddenly, there were obstacles in our way. There were people we had to interrupt, detours we had to take.

One of the people in the little group was a man I’ve known about since my mid-twenties. I was actually part of the choir that ministered when he came to hold meetings in the city I was living at the current time. I’d never dreamed about him before, but for some reason, there he was.

As the group meandered along its way, the two of us began chatting. And, along the way, he smiled at and encouraged the rest of us as we wound our way through rooms and corridors.

When we finally got out of the maze, I turned to someone else in the group and said, “He’s a beautiful man." I was referring to his spirit, not his outward appearance.

The next instant, the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart, saying, “I made him, therefore he is beautiful.”

Soon after, I woke up.

And repented.

Because during the past decade of my life, I have had nothing but negative things to say about this person, not to mention a host of other famous/notorious televangelists.

We are all equal at the foot of the cross.

Like never before, the phrase, “We are all equal at the foot of the cross” opened up to me. It exploded inside my heart.

The sins and failings of the man in question are not, and haven’t been, any worse than my sins and failings. Just because his are in public view doesn’t make him a worse person. Or me, because my sins are seen by only a few, any better.

Because of that, I have no right to judge or criticize him. What good does that do, anyway? He’ll never hear me.  And even if I tried to contact him, should he by some miracle read my message it would land on deaf ears unless God had prepared his heart to receive it.

Self-deception is the worst deception, and it’s one of the main reasons believers remain stuck in their sin without seeing it as sin.

But God doesn’t dislike us for it. He knows we are fallen beings. He love us despite of it, likes us despite of it. Because He made us.

And God doesn’t create anything halfway. He doesn’t imagine darkness and ugliness.

He creates beauty.

A note of caution…

Remember this the next time you see a Christian YouTuber judging a famous preacher. Remember that the next time you read a blog post condemning an entire Christian denomination because the article’s author disagrees with part of their theology.

Remember that in God’s sight, we are all beautiful. And if we think God is calling us to call out another person’s sin, we need to tread carefully and make sure we are, indeed, spotlighting the sin, and not the person.

Peace to you, and may blessing abound in every area of your life.

You Can Catch More Flies With Honey…

 

I’ve debated long and hard about sharing the nasty comment that was left on a previous blog around a year ago. Especially now, after having published a post where I conceded that the woman who wrote the comment had a point. However, in this day of the Internet, many, if not most, people seem to have forgotten the old adage, “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”

In other words, you can persuade a person to your point of view a lot more easily by treating them as you want to be treated (with kindness and forgiveness, I hope!), than by beating them over the head with guilt and condemnation.

Though the woman who left the comment in question signed her name as “boldly and sincerely” for anyone to see, I seriously doubt she would have used the same words to my face as she did on my blog comment. Even if you know that someone can find your online hang-outs, simply communicating on the Internet, whether it be a blog or YouTube comment, or a social media post, or a comment to someone else’s social media post, makes it all too easy to forget that the person whom you’ve never met actually has feelings.

It’s easy not to think that that person might be struggling with suicidal thoughts, and your comment might just send them over the edge.

Or that whatever you say will cause them either to get off track with what God’s called them to do, or to open the door wide for the devil to come in and torment them.

Yes, we need to learn to discipline ourselves to let go of negative emotions, let the past stay in the past, and to live in the moment, but we are human. You are human. I am human. And most of us have not arrived to the point where painful words won’t cause us pain to some extent.

The comment.

Following is the comment I’m talking about. I’m leaving off her name, even though she signed it on my blog, because I’m nice. Because I know, one day, she might realize how hurtful she was and not want her name to be associated with her words.

Here goes, and I quote verbatim; all errors belong to the commenter:

 I have to say I was initially excite to find another author that write clean, faith-based fiction however after reading just a few chapters of you book, Worth the Risk, I was extremely disappointed with her characterization of one particular supporting character.

The dialogue written for Deshawn, African American bodyguard in this book was a disgrace, especially for someone professing to have Christian believes and values. It was disrespectful to African Americans as well as to the “HUMAN RACE” as referred to as mankind. Deshawn character who incidentally was also referred to as a friend to the protagonist’s in the book.

As an African American woman, I found Deshawn’s conversations in this book highly offensive. To say this book was published in 2020 your mindset is stuck somewhere between African Americans still being slaves on the plantation and the era of Jim Crowe. How dare you marginalize this character to make him seem like an uneducated, ignorant Uncle Tom who’s only objective it to please his master/employer and know his place.

Not once in this book did you create dialogue for this chat that contained one (1) complete sentence that did not have him speaking improper grammar/sentence structure NOR using proper English. This character was a representation of blacks being portrayed in the media as a “Coon Caricature” after over 60 years since the Civil Rights movement and after all of the advancements African Americans have made.

Please wake up my “Christian” sister. This 2022, your book was published in 2020. It’s thinking (having a mindset) like you that is disgraceful, disrespectful and embarrassing.

Let’s just say that I wail never another book you write nor would I ever recommend it except as a teaching tool on what’s still wrong in this country, this world and the “Christian” community at-large.

Boldly and sincerely,

NAME WITHHELD

An ex-reader

You can see, as I wrote in this post, where I admitted she was right, that after reading this comment I wanted to quit writing. Really, I wanted to hide from the world forever. I’m still not quite over it as I write these words. The devil has used her cutting words to his purpose, that’s for sure. And I’ve lost a lot of mental and spiritual energy fighting the repercussions of being exposed to them.

Or, shall I say, exposed to her vinegar?

The honey way.

What if, instead, she had not made assumptions about me (mainly, that I’m racist, or mentally deficient, or both)? What if, after calming herself down, she had gone to my blog and written thusly:

Emily,

I was so pleased to find a new author writing Christian romance. But I have to ask you, when you were writing the character Deshawn, did you have any thought to how his manner of speech would make those of us who share his race feel? Maybe you don’t remember, but you make him sound like an uneducated, ignorant redneck groveling at the feet of a white rich man. There’s one part in the book that I found particularly offensive, when Rachel actually mimicked what you apparently perceive as typical African American Southern speech.

Would you do me a huge favor and go back and reread all the lines you gave to that character? I think that, if you’re the Christian you claim to be, you’ll realize that you have some serious editing to do.

Your caring and concerned sister in Christ,

NAME

What do you think my response would have been, had she phrased her angst in that way? Do I have to spell it out? No? Thank you. 😉

But. I need to.

Because.

I wouldn’t have been the saint some of y’all would like to think I would have been. After first reading the comment, I likely would have huffed and grumbled something about how I have a right to portray characters however I want. I would have ranted a bit about how I’ve lived in the South for over twenty years, and I’ve heard people of both races use the kind of grammar I gave to Deshawn. Even people more educated than I.

That’s a personality thing. I never take advice, suggestions, or opinions at face value. My initial inner response when someone suggests I change something about myself is almost always, I don’t think so.

Inevitably, however, I walk away, ruminate over the point in question, and analyze it. Almost always, I decide that the other person had a good point. And if there’s an action to be taken regarding that point, if it turns out to work for me (that's if the question is in regards to a personal preference thing), I’ll take the action.

So. It would have taken me a few hours, but for sure by the next day I would have opened the document and began doing a search for “Deshawn.” Begun reading his dialogue from the perspective of a Black person.

And been properly mortified.

As a result, I would have made the “serious” editing, and reuploaded the manuscript.

All because the commenter remained calm, didn’t make false assumptions out of her emotional state, and used honey to get me to see my mistakes.

The principle of catching more flies with honey should be the go-to any and every time anyone – especially a believer – has a difference of opinion with somebody else. And if you are a believer, you shouldn’t even say anything unless the Lord, not your emotions, is prompting you to. 

I Messed Up – BIG TIME.

 

About a year ago, someone left me hurtful comment on my previous author blog, back when I was paying for webhosting. Without using the word, she accused me of being a racist because she didn’t like that I’d given Deshawn, the Black bodyguard in my novel Worth The Risk, the speech pattern of a Southern Black person.

At least, that’s what I thought she’d been talking about.

I got upset. So upset, I nearly unpublished the entire “Rock Star Husband” series. I got all defensive, wrote a blog post in rebuttal in which I assured the “ex-reader” (that’s how she signed off) that I’d known Southern Black people who were more educated than I and had stronger dialects than that which I gave Deshawn.

I never did publish that post, and I’m glad of it.

Because…

she was right.

Not in calling me a racist. 

BUT.

Just so you know…

After getting this comment, I did reach out to a Black fan with whom I’d been sporadically corresponding and asked for her opinion. She’d read the novel, and didn’t have any problem with me giving Deshawn a Southern dialect.

It hadn’t offended her.

Just so you know.

Now, moving on...

Let me back up a minute.

For February, 2023, I decided to make that very novel my “Book of the Month.” For each book of the month post that I create, I plan to put in a few of the positive reviews for it.

So as I wrote the post promoting this novel, I combed through the reviews to find some positive quotes from readers.

I got more than I had bargained for. I had not one, but two scathing reviews from readers who took me to task on how I portrayed Deshawn. The wording of one gave away the identity of the woman who had left me the comment on my blog.

I got all up in arms again. It was one thing for one person to rake me over the coals for her narrow and biased perception which led to wrong assumptions (MY THOUGHTS THEN, NOT NOW!). But, two?

I got upset all over again. Ranted and raved. Wrote another blog post, a kind of free-form poem, in which I poured out my heart, justifying my right to create realistic characters and accusing the reviewers in question of being in the wrong.

That out of my system, and idea began to niggle at the back of my head. The idea was to get off my high horse and just go back into the novel and rewrite Deshawn’s dialogue. The niggling got stronger and stronger, until the next morning, I decided I needed to do just that.

With a heavy sigh and not a little bit of disgruntlement, I opened the document and began searching for “Deshawn.”

What I found shocked and dismayed me.

First, I’d really overdone it. I mean, really overdone it. Seeing, “yo’ sho’” for “you sure,” and a lot of similar attempts to relay a particular dialect, is cringeworthy to even a white person. I felt embarrassed, especially because I’ve criticized other writers for doing the same thing.

Still, I wasn’t sure that had warranted the vehemence and rage of my hater.

And then, I found it. The part that had really offended her.

I had – get this – the female protagonist make fun of Deshawn’s Black Southern speech.

Now. Understand, when I first wrote it, I’d meant for it to be funny. A kind of breaking-the-tension kind of thing.  And that’s how I had Deshawn take it.

But when I was rereading it, two years after the last time I looked at it, and this time, through the eyes of an indignant Black woman, I couldn’t believe I’d been so insensitive.

No wonder she thought I was racist.

That scene is gone now, and don’t look for that second defensive blog post because I never published it.

But that’s really not good enough. I need to apologize.

So.

I’m sorry.

I am so, so sorry. Regardless of your race, if you cringed or felt like I’d slapped you in the face when you read Deshawn’s character, particularly in the deleted scene in question, I sincerely and humbly apologize for having written something that hurt you. In hindsight, I don’t know how I could have thought that scene was okay on any level.

Yes, I do. I was in a hurry to write it and get it published, so I let it slip through the cracks.

Please forgive me. I wish I could reach out to the two women who called me on the carpet for my insensitivity and apologize in person.

And, thank them. Because they opened my eyes to three things.

First, that I needed to return to my manuscript and revise it.

Second, that I’m still way more prideful than I want to be.

And third, that I have to be a lot more thoughtful when creating characters who are of races, ethnicities, or cultures that differ from mine.

I hope they might see this post one day, or my updated manuscript, and be able to forgive me.

I am really, truly sorry.

Duty Is Not A Four Letter Word

Duty.

The word conjures up images of a woman running a vacuum cleaner over the living room carpet as sweat drips from her brow. Of clocking in and out of a job serving tables at a restaurant, cleaning toilets in an airport, slaving away on construction projects where supervisors push you and prod you to do more. It brings up scenes of washing dishes, of nursing a crying baby in the middle of the night, of visiting the crotchety old neighbor whom nobody likes.

In other words, in the minds of most modern people, duty is that catch-all word referring to any and every task that keeps you from living the good, easy life.

I used to be “most people.”

For a long time, longer than I care to admit, I despised anything that smacked of duty. I loathed the paperwork and classroom management that consisted of most of my days on my teaching job. When I became a mother, I got quickly frustrated with the difficulties of caring for a high-maintenance baby. I chose to homeschool my son, believing it to be my duty to raise him fully. A few years into it, and I was secretly envying those mothers who got a break from their child-rearing duties by sending their offspring to school.

I started to resent having to do housework, the washing of dishes and clothes that never ended, the constant food preparation. Then when I made a valiant attempt to make money online, in part to be able to escape for some time each day from my duties as a homeschooling mom and homemaker, I eventually came to resent all the tedious parts of my business that made it feel like a job.

When our son was seven, we moved onto a rural property. At first, I was gung-ho about finally having the space to grow most of our own food. But it wasn’t long after that I came to resent the weeding, the watering, the pest control.

I can blame part of my bad attitude on the anxiety I didn’t realize I was suffering from. But the bald truth is, I had gotten sucked into the modern belief that "duty" is a four letter word. Duty is tedious, mind-numbing, soul-sucking, and joyless, and should be avoided at all costs.

The big sin of humanity.

While this desire to shirk duty is hardly a new thing in the history of humankind, it’s become more intense since the industrial age. With the invention of appliances and the computer, we’ve become more spoiled with each passing generation. But instead of appreciating and being content with how much easier life is today, we’ve become more envious than ever, more prideful than ever. We feel entitled to “the good life,” which generally means a life easier and consisting of more wealth than the one we have. This pride leads to our envying others who seem to have what we want.

Who seem to live carefree lives relatively free of duty.

But if you’re reading this post from the comfort of your home and on your own phone, tablet, or computer, your life is much easier than people living a mere fifty years ago, when there were already an array of modern conveniences to choose from. So the problem isn’t with reality. The problem is our perspective of reality.

And, more to the point here, our perspective of duty.

Duty is what you make of it.

There are two ways to look at duties.

They can be tasks that we have to do. And therefore are to be despised.

Or.

They are tasks that we get to do.

I remember once hearing a preacher say that when your car breaks down, thank God that you have a car to break down. What if we applied that attitude to every single duty in life?

Thank God I have enough wealth that I have all these dishes to wash, as well as the food that made the dishes dirty.

Thank God for my fussy, crying baby, because it means she’s alive.

Thank God for the laundry I have to do, because it means I have an abundance of clothes, as well as a family to love.

Thank God for my surly boss, because it means I have a job as well as the physical and/or mental faculties to do it.

Thank God for the mud on the floor I have to clean up, because it means I have a husband who loves me and who is willing to do the outside chores on a gray, drippy day.

Thank God I’m changing a baby’s diaper in the middle of the night, because it means I have a wife who’s as eager as I am to raise a loving family.

And so on, ad infinitum. Get my drift?

My epiphany regarding duty.

I have not yet arrived. There are still some days when the duties of life drag me down. The fact of the matter is, we all have days when we wish we could stay in bed all day, vegging out in front of our favorite kind of entertainment and have all our food delivered to us.

However, most days aren’t like that. Most days, I find joy in all my duties. The reason is twofold.

First, I realized this abiding truth of human life: most of life revolves around doing our duty.

Second, and perhaps more importantly, I learned to live in the moment. When you’re taking each moment as it comes, rather than regretting your past or worrying about the future, then your mind is free to access the joy and peace which God has placed within each moment.

And then, we don’t have to need to “find the fun,” as Mary Poppins said, about our jobs. Because we don’t need fun. What is fun, but an activity that raises our serotonin and endorphin levels in the brain? But, guess what?

So does immersing yourself in the joy and peace of the moment.

Duty is not a four-letter word. It’s a part of life, a critical part that provides ample time for you to discover, enter into, and revel in God’s presence.

Peace to you, and may blessing abound in every area of your life.

WORTH THE RISK: Book Of The Month For February, 2023

It’s February, the month of red roses, pink Valentines and, of course, romance. What better book to spotlight than a romance novel with a pink background on its book cover? ;)

Worth The Risk is a faith-based, opposites-attract story, portraying a small-town young woman who wants nothing to do with the limelight, and a world-famous rock star who’s convinced that she is his God-ordained soul mate.

What prior readers have said about this novel.

 What did I like? Everything! The plot is unique and the characters are knowable. 

This was worth staying up late for.

 A wonderful love story full of twists and turns without all the smut!

Awesome story Emily.

A caution.

I realize that some readers don’t enjoy novels that smack of any kind of agenda. So, fair warning: The female protagonist, Rachel, is a vegan, and the male protagonist’s sister, Danita, is an even stauncher vegan.

I did my best to write the story so that the vegan element isn’t in-your-face, but people who have a huge bias against that philosophy may nevertheless be offended.

On the other hand…

If you’re either a Christian vegan, a Christian who is looking for motivation to eat more plant-based, or a non-Christian vegan who’s okay with mentions of God and prayer in your sweet romance reads (the story isn’t “preachy”), I believe you’ll find this story to be delightful.

At the date of publication of this blog post, the novel is free, the first novel in my “Rock Star Husband” series. Click here to download Worth the Risk. Click here to check out the entire series.

And remember to join my e-mail list so that you can receive a deep discount on every one of my new releases as they come out. 

The Joy Of Living In The Moment

 “Live in the moment.” “Be in the present.”

I’ve heard these phrases for decades, and thought I knew what they meant. I thought it meant to pay attention to the here and now. While that’s not totally the wrong track, it’s not exactly the right track, either. Not the way I was interpreting it.

Looking back over my life, until I realized what it truly meant to live in the moment, I can only pinpoint one incident where I was doing exactly that. I don’t know why it happened. Perhaps the serotonin levels in my brain were high enough for me to drop my worries for those few seconds, and I was enjoying myself enough to want to relish the moment.

I was a young college student, swimming in the pool on my college’s campus, treading water at the deep end. And suddenly, I was completely aware of the feel of the cool water against my skin, the view of the water undulating right in front of my eyes, the song blasting from the radio speakers from somewhere above. I can’t really explain how I felt, except that I found myself not only immersed in water, but completely immersed in the moment. The closest I can come is to say that I felt a peace I’d never known before, the peace that surpasses all understanding. Because, in that moment, there was neither a single worry niggling at the back of my mind, nor a single regret poking into the front of it.

It felt like a kind of waking trance, and I recall that for days, even weeks, afterward, I desperately tried to recreate that same feeling.

I never could, and eventually gave up.

And then, at the tender age of fifty-one, I discovered meditation.

RECORD SCREECH!! Christians aren’t supposed to meditate!

If you’re a believer in the One True God, you’ve likely heard some circles of Christians declare that meditation is a practice strictly belonging to those who practice New Age or eastern religions.

Wrong.

Awareness is the only way to completely eliminate stress, and the only way to learn awareness is through meditation.

There are different ways to go about it, and, yes, some of the ways come from religions that promise certain supernatural experiences for those who “arrive” at a certain level of meditative practice. But to say that Christians shouldn’t practice meditation because many non-Christians practice it is throwing the baby out with the bath water.

Regardless of who’s doing it, meditation has one basic goal: to be 100% aware. And awareness is being in tune with what’s going on inside of you and right around you…wait for it, wait for it…

…in this precise moment.

Worries and to-do lists have no place during meditation, because they have to do with the future. Regrets and remorse have no place during meditation, because they revolve around the past.

I’ll describe meditation for believers in another blog post; for now, suffice to say that meditation is a good practice for anyone, and that it is the tool that helped me to learn to live in the moment.

Which brings us to another question certain sects of Christianity bring up:

Should Christians live in the moment?

I’ve implied the answer to this question in the previous section. But the question bears a direct response because you might have heard a certain YouTuber (like I did) or blogger or even your favorite preacher say that “living in the moment” is a New Age/Eastern religious thing.

Let’s look at that logically, shall we? First, we need to study the claim in the light of what I’ve just said about meditation. If the general end of meditation is to learn to be aware, and awareness refers to keeping your mind completely in the present, with no thoughts of either the past or future, and meditation is a healthy practice for everyone, then it follows that living in the moment is a healthy goal for everyone, regardless of spiritual belief.

Second, we need to look at what the Bible says about regrets, and about worry. God has taken our sin from us as far as the east is from the west. What is regret, if not bringing our past mistakes and sins close to us? But God neither does that, nor wants us to do so. Meaning…

…we are in disobedience to God when we carry regrets.

God also commands us to forgive. Forgiveness is the only means by which we can find healing form past wounds so that we can walk into the calling God has on our lives. Therefore, we can conclude that thoughts that ruminate on past hurts and mistakes are contrary to God’s will for our lives.

Then, there’s worry. Worry is nothing more than fear of the future because we’re not completely trusting God to work it out for our good. Ever heard the saying, “God looks at your plans and laughs?” That’s because He’s already designed your future, making long-term plans a futile effort because you can’t control even how the next day will turn out.

No, I’m not saying making short-term goals and plans is a bad thing. More on that in a future post. But when you’re constantly creating long-term plans, what you’re doing is telling God you don’t trust Him, and you refuse to walk by faith because it’s scary.

Control freaks are scared to death of their future. Hmm. A great topic to delve into in a future post.

Of course, not all worries stem from godless plans. Most of the time, they revolve around situations we’re facing that we know could have a bad end. Worry is, in essence, assuming the worst will happen, and that when it does, our lives will go to ruin.

Yeshua directly addressed this when he told His disciples, as recorded in the Gospel of Matthew, chapter six and verse thirty-four, “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

If Christians aren’t supposed to live in the past, and they’re not supposed to live in the future (an impossibility, at any rate), then there’s only one place for us to live: the present.

This. Very. Moment.

The only place where joy and peace abound.

God is love. That unconditional love that is His essence is the source of joy and real peace.

In order to find true joy (not to be confused with happiness) and real peace, we must be where God is. We must find His presence.

His presence is in the present.

Yes, God is eternal, has been, is, and ever will be. But the construct of time is purely human. God’s eternity is, in reality, in each moment as it passes. We can’t find Him in the past, nor in the future.

We can only find Him in this moment that we’re living.

How do we do that? By becoming aware. Learning to be aware. Keeping our minds off regrets, wounds, and worry and fear. Focusing on the here and now. Realizing that He’s with you right here, right now.

And when that revelation comes, joy and peace come right alongside.

I pray above all else that you get a hold of this truth, as I have. It’s the only way to become free indeed.

Peace to you, and may blessing abound in every area of your life.