I'm Finally Enjoying Life. Here's Why.

PLEASE PIN THIS IMAGE

 How do Christians find the balance between serving and enjoying life – e.g., avoiding stress? It’s a question I’ve struggled with for my entire adult life, probably because I’m neurodivergent That makes “adulting” inherently stressful to me.

Adding fuel to the fire has been the insidious, continuous message from church leaders (regardless of denomination) that if you’re not using your time, talents, and treasure to serve other people, you’re not a good Christian.

There’s a whole lot to unpack right there, but I don’t want to get off the subject. Long story short, there is nowhere in the Bible that even hints that your spare time is supposed to be spent bending over backwards to give or do to other people what they don’t really need.

Sorry-not-sorry, but that is what “serve” has come to mean in modern-day Christendom.

Yes, we’re supposed to help when a genuine opportunity lands in front of us and we have time and energy to do so. Yes, we’re supposed to carry each others’ burdens and be good friends. Yes, sometimes that means giving up an evening or a week or even a month of our free time.

But it doesn’t mean slaving for people who can do for themselves at the expense of your mental, emotional, and even physical health. Yeshua told us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. That loving ourselves is about self-care. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we get too grumpy to show love to other people. Or we do it with resentment.

Writing novels to please the Lord?

The first novel I wrote (The Envelope, in case you didn’t know), I wrote hoping to get trad published, hoping that would lead to a writing career that would allow me to leave my teaching job. Several dozen rejection letters and years later, self-publishing on Amazon became a thing, and I decided to self-publish that book and other novels in order to augment our investment income (we “retired” in our early forties).

By the time it became evident about seven years ago that the self-pub gig wasn’t nearly as lucrative as the lying online marketing gurus make it seem, I’d developed a small following who seemed, by their reviews, to be waiting with baited breath for my next book. So I made the decision to continue writing novels. Not so much for the money, but to encourage the women reading them. I’d make sure to include messages that would inspire the readers along their faith journey. I’d do it to serve my fellow man.

A-hem, woman.

Even though (IMHO) my stories weren’t the greatest.

Even though I was incredibly bored with writing romances.

Even though the process stressed me to the extent that I would get snippety at my husband and son while I was crafting a story.

Even though, by five years ago, writing had begun to feel like a job.

And not just any job. One of those tedious jobs full of drudgery that people desperately try to leave.

But I kept at it.

Because I was supposed to serve God by serving others with my talents and time.

Can I give you a hint? No one needs to read novels. Especially romance. Even if they’re clean.

Even if they’re Christian.

If you enjoy reading novels (I do, as long as they’re not written by AI), if you enjoy writing novels, there’s nothing wrong with that. But entertaining is not the same as serving. And the fact that people think otherwise these days shows me how twisted our thinking has become, thanks to technology and convenience.

The real way to serve.

In 1 Thessalonians, the apostle Paul wrote,…" and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands...[4:11]”

If you go through the Gospels, you will see evidence that Yeshua lived as simple a life as He could. He tried to lead a quiet life, but excited people whom He had healed wouldn’t keep quiet. Except for the religious leaders, He never got into anyone’s business, nor did He scold anyone for not doing enough.

Instead, He gave His followers a template.

èHave faith in God.

èLove others where they are.

èDo onto others as they want others to do to them.

èLive humbly.

èDon’t focus on money and material wealth.

èShow kindness.

My realization.

As Christians, we’re supposed to be in the world, not of it, but Christianity has become entangled with the unnecessary complications of modern society.

I finally realized, though I cannot untangle everyone else, I can untangle myself.

So I am no longer self-publishing novels.

This isn’t about burnout. It’s about recognizing the season of life I’m in. About sensing what God is truly calling me to.

Yeshua said that His yoke was easy, His burden is light. "Burden" is an apt word for how writing novels for self-publication has felt for me during the past few years.

Maybe even for the past decade. 

How this decision is changing my life.

I suddenly have three more hours in my day. Three hours to:

• Learn new things.
• Read other people’s novels.
• Get into arts and crafts, which I mostly dropped once I’d hit junior high.
• Talk to my husband.
• Pray.
• Write a poem.
• Or song lyrics.
• Write a blog post. 
• Support a favorite YouTuber by watching their video.
• Keep house.

None of these things cause stress. And yet, they all provide some sort of service.

They are service to my husband and son directly, because I have more time to take care of their home now.

They are a service to them indirectly, because if Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

And I have not been happy pushing myself to write four to six novels in a year in order to complete a series.

And the relaxed lifestyle affords me a lot more headspace to keep my focus on God, and to remember to pray for those who come across my path.

For the first time in years, I feel like I’m really living.

If you’re a Christian and you’ve begun questioning the way you’ve been told you’re “supposed” to serve, or have become caught up in that nasty “time-talent-treasure” doctrine, pay attention to the questioning. It just might be God speaking to you.

Even if it isn’t, He won’t love you – or like you – any less for taking care of yourself. 

(For more inspiring content like this, you can follow this blog if you have a Google account, bookmark this blog, follow my blog on Goodreads, and/or check out the books in the sidebar.)