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PLEASE PIN - What to do when suffering seems to last forever. |
Sometimes, your suffering seems to go on forever.
Like ocean waves that never cease their pounding against the shore, a constant and steady motion, sometimes pain feels as though it’s determined to be your eternal companion.
In the post where I discuss Christian trials and suffering, I explain how I’ve been going through my own time of suffering. It’s now been over a month since I sustained multiple strains in my buttocks and lower back, but it still feels in the early stages of recovery (even though it’s not). It feels like it will be months before I can sit in a chair for any length of time, that I am destined to spend most of the rest of my life reclined on my bed (even though I know that’s not true).
It feels like this irritation will never end.
Emotional pain, I know from experience, is even worse, tearing at the fibers of your heart, crushing the last vestiges of hope and snuffing out all joy. Life looks bleak, and you can’t see a way out of the dark, miry pit you’ve fallen into.
Even for mature believers, the emotional pain of loss, betrayal, and wounds to the ego can turn chronic, sometimes feeling as acute and sharp as it did the day the incident that hurt us first happened.
It can feel like the pain will never end.
I wish I could give you a five- or ten-step program guaranteeing complete healing – whether in body or soul – within the next week. But I don’t want to join the crowds of so many mammon-loving preachers or self-help writers who offer false hope in exchange for monetary gain or small fame.
Usually both.
What I will do instead is offer you a few tools that can shore up your hope, determination, and courage as you walk through this tough time. Some might sound cliché, but the most oft-repeated words of wisdom are widespread because they work.
And maybe you need to hear them one more time to really and truly absorb them.
This, too, shall pass.
Well, since I mentioned clichés, why not start with the most relevant one?
Pain, both physical and emotional, is a temporary state. Even sufferers of chronic pain don’t generally experience unbearable levels constantly. And most physical pain only lasts as long as it takes the body to heal from trauma. In the case of surgery and serious injuries, that might be a lot longer than you like, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s only a small fraction of your life.
As for emotions, they are as fleeting as the bite of an irritable fly, as changeable as March weather. They are also one of the few things in life you can take full control over and manipulate to your liking.
Which is a great segue into the next tool for when suffering seems to last forever.
Learn to live in the moment.
I explain how to do just that in this article about awareness. Here, I want to touch on how it can not only alleviate pain, but also facilitate healing.
Before I do that, I want to speak to my fellow believers in Christ: no, this is NOT “New Age.” Though the idea of conscious awareness may have precipitated in the lands we Westerners call “the East,” and though the Easterners incorporated the concept in their respective religions, that does not make it a dangerous practice for Christians. Nor does it make it “demonic.”
I explain why in the article linked above.
To focus on the present moment, the here and now, is to keep your mind on the senses and reality that is right in front of you. It is to feast your eyes on the wonderful variety of colors and textures of the objects around you, to concentrate on the sounds happening right now, to be fully aware of the physical sensations in and around your body.
It is to be in complete control of your conscious mind, choosing to allow only a single, positive thought to dwell there. It might be “thank you,” or “I am resilient and valued,” or “praise be to God.”
If you are dealing with a long-lasting emotional wound, living in the moment pushes the past back where it belongs, thus pushing away the pain of the past. Even better, this acute awareness allows you to “hear” your inner voice, whether it be of your body or of God’s Spirit, gently nudging you to let go, or repent, or believe in your innate strength, or talk to a friend or therapist.
In other words, wisdom comes in the quiet moments when we are not steeped in the regrets of the past, or fretting over the future.
If you are dealing with physical pain, the immediate effect of immersing yourself in the present is that you see that you can handle the pain for just one moment. See, the frustration and agony brought on by physical ailments comes from worry. Will I always feel like this, will this ever go away, will I never be able to do X activity again.
And so, instead of experiencing blips of pain, one per moment, we experience weeks, months, even years of it within the span of a few moments of overactive imagination.
Imagination is a good thing, unless you’re imagining a forever full of pain and the limitations it brings.
Trust in God’s goodness.
If you’ve never accepted the sacrifice of the Son of God on behalf of your sins, there’s no better time than now.
If you have, most of the reason you feel that your suffering will last forever is that you are not fully trusting in God’s goodness. You can only see that the evil of the fallen world has turned your own world upside down, threatening to destroy it.
If you are trusting God fully, however, you can say along with the apostle Paul that you find contentment in whatever state of life you are walking through. You can know that whatever happens, God will eventually bring you into blessing.
Knowing that, your joy will be restored, your stress will fall away. Both of those things are two of the top medicines for receiving healing of any kind.
I might mention that it’s a lot easier to trust fully in God when you’re living in the moment. Because when you are, you’re not worrying over the future.
Worry is the antithesis and fatal enemy of trust.
Related closely to that…
Pray.
Our Lord understands suffering. He knows the sting of betrayal. He knows the horrors of abuse.
Before the Roman soldiers crucified Him, He experienced the agony of His body being physically ripped apart.
So, talk to Him about your pain. He’s always listening. Ask for help. Ask for guidance. Ask for comfort.
Cuss Him out if you need to. I know that sounds heretical, but it works for me.
How?
When I’m done with my hissy fit, I realize that God didn’t do anything to me.
I did it to myself.
Or, in the case of abuse or death, the imperfectness of people and the world did it.
When it’s all on you, taking responsibility for the choices that led to your pain is a huge step toward healing.
And a huge step to not making the same mistake again.
Create and repeat a nurturing mantra.
If ever there is a time a person is vulnerable to the negative darts of the enemy, it’s when they are experiencing any kind of pain.
The solution? Build a fortress around yourself. A fortress consisting of positive words.
Consider your situation, then form a brief, easy-to-remember sentence that will counter the negativity that is bound to bombard you.
If you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, it might be, “I honor [NAME’S] memory by encouraging and helping others.”
If you’re like me and dealing with a physical problem, it might be, “I’m healing a little more with every passing day.”
If you’ve been betrayed or belittled by a friend or close relative, you might try, “I choose love and forgiveness over bitterness and resentment.”
But however inspiring and uplifting your mantra may be, it will have little effect unless you put the next tool to good use.
Ditch all negative media.
That means…
- Stop reading, watching, or listening to the news.
- Don’t consume any doom-and-gloom or anger- or fear-based social media. Not even from your best friend. Not even from your beloved grandmother.
- Your life in general will get a lot better if you walk away from social media, period, and never return.
- Don’t watch scary or upsetting movies, T.V. shows, or videos.
- Same for books.
- Watch clean comedy and faith-based movies instead.
- Read inspirational stories and books.
- Get involved with an online group whose sole purpose is encouragement among the members.
- Distance yourself from negative friends or family members. That especially includes those who enjoy hocking their conspiracy theory of the month.
Your suffering will not last forever.
Most likely, the pain you’re experiencing now will have faded, if not vanished completely, within the next few weeks or months. Possibly sooner.
If it’s a physical pain that precludes healing, your earthly body will one day give up its life, and you will receive a completely new body that will never cause pain.
Not to mention a completely new mind which will be impervious to anything negative.
You can do this.
You are resilient.
You are not alone.
(For more inspiring content like this, you can follow this blog if you have a Google account, bookmark this blog, follow my blog on Goodreads, and/or check out the books in the sidebar.)